I have just been through quite a physical ordeal having had shingles for the past month. However, today, on self-responsibility, I want to share with you that I feel pretty certain that what I experienced as a blatant assault on my body, psyche, and time, was an ‘inside job.’ In other words, that somehow, consciously or un, I invited a boatload of old anxiety, grief, and limitation to come out of hiding (in my cellular memory), state its case, and then get the heck out of my system once and for all.
Because I am so aware of the devastating thoughts and feelings that have pretty much ruled my body, emotions, and life for the past 64 years, on this side of my ordeal, I KNOW that I have a tremendous opportunity to hit the reset button on my life.
I awoke on Monday with my old familiar anxiety and devastation and was thrilled to, almost immediately, remember the five affirmations (that I have slightly modified for my own resonance.) I recited them over and over and over and over, then did a guided meditation that directs us to do something quite similar, and, while I couldn’t necessarily feel it AS it was happening, I noticed, as I emerged from my shower, that I absolutely felt a very positive shift. And I was able to maintain my commitment to the positive for the whole day.
Tuesday wasn’t quite as easy, but I stayed committed and ended up having quite a lovely (and successful) day. Then today brought with it a bunch of curve balls gleefully flying (directly at me) in my field. I listened to myself grouse and grouse and grouse absolutely unable to stop. At least I was aware of it, right?! It was obviously what the system I teach calls a necessary ‘emptying.’ The system teaches that “emptying is a necessary step in the creation of any miracle.” Of course, as soon as I was able, I realigned myself with ‘the Light’ and went right back to deliberately thinking and feeling positive things. And, sure enough, I've had several miraculous things pop into my life in the past three hours causing me to feel an interesting and new sense of positivity and peace.
I love that Billy’s work is in such close alignment with the other things to which I am so committed right now, sort of like a trinity all teaching the same thing—out with the bad air, in with the good! (I think I got this from watching Huckleberry Hound when I was a kid) .. plant it (the good), water it, give it sunlight, et voila.
I still have a long way to go, but this is my experience this week. Honestly, self-responsibility it the only way to go as it puts YOU at the helm of your experience. Seven or eight years ago, you taught me a really important word—sovereignty. I have carried it with me as my goal ever since.